


The Confessions Of Jonathan Walters

by birdiie



Category: Original Work
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdiie/pseuds/birdiie
Summary: Jonathan Walters's life is one great, big, fuck up; and he isn't the only one to blame. The life behind the curtains of a detective working for the FBI, and the dangers he faces outside of his insane work life.
Kudos: 1





	The Confessions Of Jonathan Walters

Love is blind. Supposedly. I’ve never really believed that. There is proof that love isn’t blind. And love can be evil, even. 

For example: Romeo and Juliet. Antony and Cleopatra. Lancelot and Guinevere.

Great love stories that started with a bang and ended in tragedy. In the real world, no one's life is that linear.

We fall in and out of love. We take it for granted. Or find it where we least expect it.

Some relationships can seem easy from the start and others can be faced with tremendous obstacles. We root for love to conquer all, but we also root for a comeback.

People who have been knocked down by life and get back up on their feet. Who learn from the mistakes that they've made and grow into better, more complete human beings. So maybe the greatest love stories aren't the ones that end in tragedies. Maybe they're the ones that start with a second chance.

Growing up, my parents urged me to be the best I could ever be. I don’t blame them for my inevitable failure; I know that I can’t be bitter about the circumstances in this given situation. The situation being the trainwreck that is my life. They did everything they could to raise me correctly; but it crushed my soul in ways that I would never wish upon my worst enemy. I have never been able to be myself; my identity was always just a reflection of traits people wanted to see. In all other ways, I’ve constantly seen myself as invisible. You may be asking, “Jonathan, why would you ever be invisible?” The answer: I don’t actually know. Society would mostly consider minorities to be invisible if anything, and I’m not a minority when it comes to anything like skin tone or religion. No, I’m a different minority. My identity is what sets me apart from others. An identity that some see as “fixable”. 

I don’t feel invisible anymore. Not with the people I have had by my side. But I do believe that I’ve caused them all a tremendous amount of unnecessary pain. Pain I’m not sure anybody can bounce back from so easily. I could never properly express to them how much pain I feel having hurt them like this. They deserve better. This is my confession to them. My manifesto of feelings that I’ve always held back. The confessions I’ve always wanted to tell them. They deserve to hold my heart in their hands. To understand why I was the way I was. I wish I could turn back the clock and change the way I reacted to everything that happened between all of us. So here it is. My heart, and my mind. Everything I thought in every waking moment of those days that I ache to go back to. 

To my ex-wife, Judith.

And my ex-husband, Kalvin. 

You two deserved so much better than what I could ever offer.


End file.
